


Welcome to Sexy University!

by edibleglue



Category: Sexyversity (game)
Genre: Gen, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-27 02:48:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30116031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edibleglue/pseuds/edibleglue
Summary: You get a letter one day addressed to you inviting you join the school of your dreams, Sexy University!What adventures will await you on your first day of school?this was written before a demo or came out, any characters mentioned here are already on the sexyman wikiI'm so sorry to any stray on lookers that have found this on their own
Relationships: Implied you/Vincent Afton (Sexyversity)
Kudos: 5





	Welcome to Sexy University!

**Author's Note:**

> you can literally be yourself or another sexyperson as you read through this.  
> i had to hold back wanting to write konoha and saeru in as protag for...reasons. but that might be another fic bc real shit saeru is... kinda a sexyman if not already one and just has to be added to the sexymen wiki and i hate the thought of it BECAUSE I KNOW I'LL HAVE TO PROBABLY DO IT....

You stare at the envelope in your shaking hands. Could this be...?

It was a basic white envelope with a distinct red seal keeping it closed. No not with the Smash Brothers logo but with a very noticeable top hat. Nothing unique or special but everyone you know and their cats know what this means.

"Congratulations, you are invited to attend Sexy University for a year. The school only for the sexiest of people and you are definitely one of those people!"

You tears make it hard to read the rest of the paper but you don't really need to. This has been your dream ever since your series has kicked off. You found your mouth curling up into a wide grin as you run off to show your source mates the news excitedly.

...3 months have past since you started to prepare for Sexy University. Today is your first day of school now so it all has come to this.

You sigh, bag in hand as you begin to slowly step into the gate of the campus ready for your new life to begin.

!? Ouch! Looks like you got hit by something hard. You try to look for what hit you only to find a round somewhat dirty from time orb with handles on it. You squint before a blue light flickers on followed by screaming and in turn you scream with it

"Bloody-- Let me go! Let. Me. Go!!!" You yelp once again dropping it as it rolls a tiny bit "Ouch! I didn't mean drop me, but it's okay. I think? Oh are you also a student here?"

You raise a brow and try to face where the blue light is at it moves towards you like an eye. It begins to flicker as the orb speaks once more after it seems to get a good look at you

""AH! Oh God? You look te-- uh-- ...good! Great Looking infact... (I guess.) But you do infact look like a student like me!" It rotates to nod "My name is Wheatley, nice to meet you."

"(Y/N)" You state bluntly squinting at the robot. At the very least you assume is a robot. "How are you uh...going to get to school, Wheatley? You don't seem to have wheels, anyone to carry you around or anything to be fair."

Wheatley seems to look around only now realizing his situation "Fuck." A sigh somehow escapes his voice bank "I originally had someone carrying me along the way, but they got scared and flung me as a self defense mechanism. I think it worked?"

You roll your eyes over how silly it sounds but decide to help Wheatley, especially if he may be a classmate of yours. It'll be worth it to make some friends now

"Huh? You'll help me? COOL!-- I mean nice nice very nice, totally not over excited. I'll have you know that i've studied a fair amount about the people attending school that I could find! So I can give a fair amount of information if needed. Afterall a moron wouldn't study on his fellow classmates"

You raise an eyebrow in confusion but decide to take his word for it. Perhaps this will be useful for finding more about your fellow Sexypeople.

You sit with Wheatley in the Library waiting for classes to begin as he rattles on a list of your classmates. You two ended up in different classrooms and that the person originally helping carry Wheatley was a guy by the name of Nagito while on his way here with his twin.

"So the teachers here are kinda scary, mate. One of them is a criminal! Can you believe that? How are we sure any of us aren't going to get murdered by them!? I mean I haven't seen it happen since I was in this school the year before but-- YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN" You shrug reading into the book you randomly picked off a nearby shelf. You've learnt alot from your talk with Wheatley about how strange this new school is.

Some of the characters here being students and yet teachers at the same time. The just mentioned murderers as teachers or students and the like. Infact there's even a class dedicated all about murder. Last but not least the inconsistent layout of the school that changes nearly weekly if not daily

"Wheatley, you have some nerve showing your face in this school after last year!"

"Oh god, just ignore them (Y/N)" The blue light flickers to the side to avoid looking at the duo that seems to walk towards your table

"Who's the fresh meat? Gahaha!"

You look over, somewhat offended by the comment that was obviously directed at you to see two men head to toe in purple. The only way to tell them apart was simply their eyes and how one seemed to have hair and clothes while the other was bald and "naked" with only a badge on his chest.

"Oh are you new to this school? You shouldn't hang out with such a fucking loser like Wheatley. Come hang out with us "cool kids" instead, sweetie. I'd toast you to some TOAST if you'd like" The one with the ponytail gently grabs your hand and sends a wink your way causing you to snatch your hand back flabbergasted at the sudden flirting. You can't tell if you feel disgusted or flattered at the statement however.

"I'll...think about it. If you mind i'm trying to read actually. So I would prefer that all three of you let me be. I have no clue at all what you're talking about with this orb." You blush a bit, moving a piece of your hair behind your ear in hopes to act distracted and alienated from the core

"What!? (Y/N), what are you talk-- WOAH!" Wheatley falls off of the table you set him on a loud bonk temporarily shutting him off causing the two to laugh furiously even going so far to kick him into a corner before they walk out of the library.

The one with ponytail stops and turns to you with a smug glare "My name is Vincent by the way, cutie. I'll be in class 3-B or the lab chillin' if you ever wanna chill with me at some point with my homie William." He sends another wink your way with a finger before disappearing into the depths of the hallway.

You carefully clutched your chest over the introduction, kind of shocked in general. You rip your head to the corner Wheatley was kicked into and grab him shaking him furiously to snap him awake

"AGH!? WHERE AM I, WHO WHAT WHERE-- Oh! 'Ello!" He lets out a dry chuckle as you shake him

"WHEATLEY. WHEATLEY LISTEN TO ME. WHO ARE THEY?"

"What!? Who's what!?"

"THE TWINS? PURPLE GUYS? I DON'T KNOW."

You can see the robot roll his eye as a groan comes out

"Vincent and William Afton.... Vincent is the one with a ponytail in love with toast and William is....William. The two are actually child murderers y'know..." Oh god that's kinda hot. You feel yourself holding back drool "They're not related but they're so oddly similiar it's unreal! Regardless they're always tinkering with robots n' junk with get this...ANOTHER PURPLE GUY. I never let them tinker with me so they're so hostile towards me."

"ANOTHER PURPLE GUY?" You grip him stronger excitedly

"Oh this one doesn't slaughter people" Wheatley chuckles "He's just some weird twink that looks like a squid. They always keep giving stuff to the teachers, Heinz and Dr. Rick to get away with staying in the lab more then needed. I wouldn't recommend you interact with them much, they're quite a bunch of real wankers."

Wheatley looks up at you to see you slightly disappointed and he seems to audibly panic not wanting to disappoint his new friend. Atleast he considers you a friend and hopes the same with you

"How about I introduce you to some of my friends? We're apart of a club! You can join us too since you're my best friend!"

So fast and trusting... you sigh agreeing to go see his friends but before you two can go and find them the bell rings. You help Wheatley to his classroom before going to yours

You stretch in your seat after class where you were basically taught about how to wear a suit of only the highest quality to be a "proper sexy man" by Mr. Blackhat

"(Y/N)...?" A unfamiliar voice calls out to you. You look behind you to see one of your classmates behind you. You believe his name was...Nagito? "Are you a friend of Wheatleys"

You give off a shrug to which he smiles gently somewhat relieved

"Ah, I see. Oh, I asked because you semed to have helped him get to his classroom instead of his usuals. Was it out of pity? Remorse? Or perhaps you wanted something from him...?"

You glare at Nagito, confused. You've overheard that he tends to be pretty weird so you just ignore him and pack up your things for the next class right as you get to the door you hear him speak up once more

"Tell me, (Y/N). Are you sure you're truly prepared for Sexy University...?"

Before you can open your mouth to respond the moment you blink he's gone like he was never there. You clutch your books tighter, blinking multiple times to make sure your eyes aren't playing tricks on you as you rush onto your next class, terrified of running into another weirdo. 

Mr. Reigen walked into class seemingly 10 minutes late as the entire place was in panic of everyone doing what they wanted. "Hey kids, sorry i'm like- late I guess. This is uhhh, general learning how to charm people class so if you will-- Hey. Settle down now everyone, please."

Everyone seemed to ignore Reigen... "HEY. I SAID SIT THE FUCK DOWN I'M TRYING TO TEACH YOU HOW TO CHARM PEOPLE, IF YOU CAN'T EVEN DO THAT THEN YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE AT THIS SCHOOL"

"SHUT UP, YOU SOUND LIKE OSOMATSU MATSUNO!" The very pale kid with messy black hair inthe back laughed furiously, his smile going ear to ear. Other people in the class laughed as this was undeniable

"ATLEAST MY FAMILY ISNT DEAD AND I'M NOT A BLEACHED #FFFFF CRACKERJACK, MR.WOODS. YOU AREN'T RELEVANT ANYMORE AND NO ONE CARES HOW YOU ACTUALLY LOOK UNLESS YOU'RE FILTERED LIKE A CARTOON, YOU SWINE. ALL YOU'RE GOOD FOR IS YAOI BAIT SO GO BACK IN THE WOODS AND SHIT ON A TREE LIKE THE SQURRIEL YOU ARE." Reigen shouted back causing Jeff to stop laughing and just cover his mouth while looking at the floor. He wasn't wrong and Jeff had nothing to defend himself in the slightest on that matter.

A bandaged hand nearby Jeff raised his hand "Yo, teach can I go take a wild fuckin' piss?"

"Of course my favorite student, Isaac. I know you're just going to skip class so just take your homework and make sure to hand it in by the end of the week."

"It's Zack, but thanks I guess." Zack got up, paused to stare at jeff and just snicker before walking away grabbing onto the paper to jam into his pocket before actually jumping out of the window.

Another hand- or well paw was raised

"Mwister Aratwaka why am i in this Cwass...?"

"Because everyone loves furries, shut up Raymond"

Everyones attention turns back to Reigen now fully focused as he explains the basics of the class "This class is to help you manage to charm people in even if you're ugly as shit. Take a look at how I was before Bones came to me" Reigen held up an infamous image of him in his manga days where he obviously did not have much sex appeal but if one had their standards low enough or didn't care about looks.. He's pretty fuckable still totally not the writer being biased.

Reigen pointed his pen at some of the other students in the class as they trailed off on their names and how people began to found them sexy by changing aspects about them to help teach the rest of the class that have yet to reach that point on being sexy.

While absent from rest of school Zack was turned sexy because of the manga (and by extension anime) even tho he looked like a rodent. Benrey is well Benrey, Raymond because of the maid dress and so on. But then Reigens pen gestures over towards a familiar pair of purple men.

Vincent only stood up and flamboyantly posed causing some of the class to groan "What~? I have to say me and Willy over here are popular mainly becaues of yours truly~. My creator is an interesting one aren't they?"

"Your creator is a clown, Vincent." Dimitri scoffed from the front of the class causing the man behind to slaugther to pout going up to cup his face

"True as you may be my little lancer! But yet I live on without them as they've abandoned me. What will you do when your creators leave you?"

The prince flicks him causing Vincent to slam against a wall like a mere insect

"I have many fans worldwide and many that cherish me greatly from my source unlike yourself in both cases. I'll have you know that even if I fail school i'm   
welcomed back with open arms wherever I go without anyone batting much of an eyelash"

William groans in the back "What a fucking poser you are, blondie... We get it you flex quite literally on so much about yourself. Sit down-"

"But I already am?" The white man raised a brow in confusion

Before Vincent can throw out an insult their teacher finally spoke up "Alright you two cut it out I don't wanna deal with a fight right now. I have an ass fattening check up at 3 so i'd like to have this class go as fast as it can"  
Vincent stuck his tongue out at Dimitri before trotting back to his seat, murmuring something under his breath with you only catching "boar" as he passed you by

The phone rang causing Reigen to groan wondering if it's a complaint about letting a student skip the day A-FUCKING-GAIN, he just nods as he picks up the phone "Huh? (Y/N's Last name)? Okay I guess." Reigen hanged up the phone "Yo, (Y/N). The principle wants to see you 'bout something."

You gulped as everyone suddenly stared at you a few people laughing as you can make out quick gossip on if the new kid got in trouble.

"It's okay (Y/N) I go up there ALLLLL the time, you'll be fine" Wheatley laughed in the seat next to you as you glared malice at him "Or...perhaps not then? Geez."

You inhaled through your nose as you got up and marched your way towards the principles office anxious as hell.

"Mx.(L/N)! What a pleasure to see you! The principle is a bit busy right now so how about you solve some MAATH question while we wait? What's two plusss twoooo?" Last years math teacher, Baldi seems to be here now working as the secretary.

He wasn't allowed to be the math teacher anymore due to beating the students to death whenever they got something wrong and as a result got replaced by Alastor. Who is equally as bad as he eats his students alive. Not vore. Just eats them alive.

After a while of waiting (and being annoyed by Baldi) you're called in

"(Y/N) (L/N)." You sweat looking up at the tall man spotting a familiar green suit. "Today is your first day at Sexy University, yes?" You nod biting your lip "Don't worry, you aren't in trouble. Far from that infact."

Onceler takes off his glasses to look at you before giving you a warm smile

"Are you aware that i'm the one in particular that has sent you the letter that day 3 months ago to join my school? You see if I could be blunt, you aren't a sexyperson. However I won't kick you out of my school. I brought you in here for a special reason, (Y/N)." you sigh in somewhat relief but catch your breath once you notice that Oncelers face turned serious

"I believe that there is something wrong going on here at Sexy University and I believe you will be the one to help. Will you please aid me during your year here...?"  
You stare in shock and slight confusion before nodding "It's the least I can do after being invited here, I feel!"  
Onceler smiled softly again "Thank you, (Y/N). I hope that outside of the work I will be taking you to help with that your year here at Sexy University will be a pleasant one."

**Author's Note:**

> i couldn't be bothered to redo fixing all the set ups for this so take a half kinda hard to read set up. now i know what masahiro sakurai feels


End file.
